Conversation with an HOA.

Sit down, folks.

So I have two Red Oak trees which I need to get around to planting. I probably shouldn't have even bothered calling the HOA about this, and just done it. But oh well, that ship has sailed. I present to you the conversation.

Before I start, the characters:

Me, the protagonist of the story :D
Jacques, the lovable but dense man in charge of our HOA. Even though he has a French name, for some reason his accent is Hispanic.

Jacques: "Hello"
Me: "Hello Jacques, this is Stephen, I left you that message earlier about the trees..."
Jacques: "Oh yes, oh yes, what is up my friend!?"
Me: "Um... not much. I just wanted to ask you if there were any restrictions on planting trees?"
Jacques: "Hmm. Well where do you want to plant the trees, in your back yard?"
Me: "No I will be planting them in the front and side yard. We live on the front corner of the subdivision."
Jacques: "Oh, the front and side? Well...I do not think there are any restrictions but I am worried. What if someone is driving and cannot see, and they run into the tree?"
Me: ...long pause..."Well, the trees will be in the yard...."
Jacques: "What if they are turning and cannot see?"
Me: "The trees will be planted up near the house. There are already 2 trees planted down near the street."
Jacques: "I'm worried about someone hitting your trees."
Me: "But, why would someone parked at a dead stop, if they could not see, feel the urge to drive into my hard, uphill, and ram my tree?"
Jacques: "Yea, I think it's best if you print out a plot of your lot, and tell me where the trees will be."
Me: ....sigh..."okay Jacques."


In other news, the bell peppers still haven't technically sprouted, but I'm feeling today or tomorrow is the day! Still nothing on the lettuce (obviously).